A veteran-IT-guus shared the conclusions he made after spending a year in civilian life after demobilization

The veteran shared the conclusions he made for himself, highlighting his inner states and hoping that this would help someone understand the world in which people like him live:

1. I didn’t return home. It’s as if this year didn’t happen. It’s as if I just left the positions yesterday and went to the military barracks to get an extract from the order. And now I’m on vacation, I’ll have to return soon. I remember the first week at home — when I was afraid to open my eyes in the morning — it seemed like I had dreamed it all and that I would find myself in a damp dugout again. At the same time, it seems like I wasn’t at war — that it was all a terrible dream or some memories were simply recorded in my head and that this didn’t happen in reality. Some kind of unusual dual feelings.
2. I noticed that I forget some words during a conversation — I don’t know how to explain — for example, I know that this is a table — but I can’t name it.
3. I react very violently (internally) to the news, which I try not to watch, but I can’t. I learned to suppress my emotions. On the outside I am calm and smiling, but inside there is a war going on, I put everyone in prison and punish them, I take revenge for the boys and for the country. I don’t know where to pour out this heaviness — sports don’t help for long, I either dive into the rails and calm down like that, or I work — I write business plans for myself and describe the ideas that were spinning at night when I was bored at the SPhs.
4. I gave up alcohol and drunken companies — I was not a fan of such recreation before, and now I have lost my sense of proportion and self-control. Therefore, just like in the good old days, energy drinks or non-alcoholic beer. I stopped smoking while I was in the service.
5. I keep in touch with my comrades who stayed behind, we call each other regularly, I know all the news — what’s going on in the battalion, who’s been transferred, who’s been promoted, etc. The only thing is that Vaska’s cat, which I raised from a kitten, got lost.
6. During this year I met many wonderful people who gave me a good start and forced me to grow and become better. Thank you to Artem Samaida and the KOSSASOFT team for the chance to get on the right path. Thank you to Binariks for the support and the opportunity to grow and feel needed.

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