"Let them pray for me, as for the Lord, for giving me a job." Crude phrases heard in the IT sphere from managers

1. «The corporate party will be on Saturday. We’re all going to be equally relieved.»
2. «We give you the opportunity to work. You have to appreciate it, not everyone gets that chance.»
3. «I would do it in 15 minutes»: «I often said this myself in the first years of management, I repent,» writes Oleksandr Pavlutsky.
4. «So what, it’s vacation, there’s a task there for literally half an hour, isn’t it difficult?»
5. «We’re not asking you to kiss our hands, but you should be grateful that we feed you and your families,» according to Oleksandr, who was told this in the comments to one of his posts.
6. «You have to put yourself in our position.»
7. «Can’t you just take it and do it as I ask?» — as Oleksandr added, his TK: «make it to the standards and have it ready by lunch.»
8. «I don’t know how to do it, but I still don’t like it… (After 20 different options, the option was chosen, to which they first said: «This is not at all what I wanted to see,» added Head of E-learning Department Serhiy).
9. «You’ve been working at this company for X years, and how many times have you said, 'thank you'? And anyway, is that your suit? Do you have a suit?»
10. «You should be grateful that I’m paying you.»
11. «To throw a gift to the director. A report in 15 minutes — no, the boss said: «What’s the point of doing it! I’ll do it in 10 minutes.» And a vacation is not an excuse not to answer phone calls. As they said at school — a call is for the teacher.»
12. «That’s all right, but if you don’t want to, don’t work. Anyone who seeks justice at work is looking for a new job.»
13. «When they promised to raise the salary, and you already remind me, 'please be loyal to our company and endure another 3 months'.»
14. «When will the build happen?!»
15. «Others are willing to pay extra for a line in their resume with our company.»
16. «Lunch at the Unemployed.»
17. Me: «The hourly rate has not been reviewed for 3 years, since the fall of 2021. Can it be raised by 10-15%, at least taking into account inflation over the last 3 years?» Customer: «What inflation? There is a war in your country, and during a war everything becomes cheaper because demand falls. I was actually thinking of reducing the rate.»
18. «I didn’t expect you to be here just for the money.»
19. «You can do this using a simple stm32h743 microcontroller. And the configs are loaded over the network by setting up a simple web server on Linux. We’ll come back to the question in 4 weeks, because I’m on vacation now, and then on a business trip. Submit the project on Wednesday.»
20. «What’s the point of making that presentation! Only 25 slides with statistics! I’ll wait until lunch.»
21. «Whoever guesses how fast I skied down in Bukovel will receive a video of the entire descent from the mountain.»
22. «Your child is your personal business.»
23. «What’s the law to me, I’m the law here!»
24. «We noticed that a lot of time is spent on bug fixing, from now on write code without bugs,» Product Owner Darya Balytska added that after that the team started to formalize bugs as tasks, the management liked that there were fewer bugs.
25. «We want to increase profits, so work an hour longer every day for the same salary, if you don’t have plans for the weekend, we allow you to come to the office and work on weekends,» Darya Balytska recalled how the same person later said that he wanted such profits to sew a jacket for himself from 100-dollar bills.
26. «I could do something in 5 minutes through ChatGPT, but you do it in a week,» Darya’s response, «Then fire 80% of the team and do it through ChatGPT,» didn’t please the management.
27. «You are not grateful enough to us.»
28. «I can’t let you go on vacation during this period, because we’ll be releasing. Then after a while. — take all your vacation days now or they’ll burn up tomorrow.»
29. » — How are you? — I’m fine. — I’m not asking you how you’re doing, I want a report on the project.»
30. «Let them pray for me, as for the Lord, for giving me work.»

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