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Валентин ШнайдерWork
14 July 2025, 12:38
2025-07-14
"Your friend just doesn't have self-esteem issues": IT community debates whether to give advice for free
User Experience Researcher Olga G. sparked a heated debate on LinkedIn with her post about the value of experience. She recalled how an acquaintance in Canada refused to give quick advice without payment and offered his price instead. The incident prompted her to think: why do we often devalue the expertise of our acquaintances, and is it okay to ask an expert to «take a look» just like that?
User Experience Researcher Olga G. sparked a heated debate on LinkedIn with her post about the value of experience. She recalled how an acquaintance in Canada refused to give quick advice without payment and offered his price instead. The incident prompted her to think: why do we often devalue the expertise of our acquaintances, and is it okay to ask an expert to «take a look» just like that?
In a post on LinkedIn, Olga told how a few years ago she reached out to an old friend to quickly ask about an IT career. In response, he sent a link to his website and prices. Without any remorse or the words «we’re our own». This became a reason for reflection:
«Even a minute of someone else’s experience has a price. Not because people have become mercantile. But because they value time — both their own and yours.»
A discussion broke out under the post: is a specialist obliged to be open to free advice? And is it worth asking for advice «just like that,» especially if it’s from an acquaintance?
Opinions were divided: free or for a price?
Anastasia Gnedova, UX/Product Designer, notes that due to the «pay per minute» some people may not dare to contact us at all:
«I’ll have to work somewhere 24/7, but then I won’t have the time or resources to turn to them — but I’ll have that little money for which my „friend“ gives advice.»
Viktor Khmel, DevOps Engineer, shares a case when his family was invited for a walk, but instead they actually arranged a free psychological consultation for their child:
«We thought it would be a walk, but they spent the entire meeting questioning my psychologist wife in detail. People decided to get a free consultation.»
Kateryna Lobanova, a certified Sales Coach, admits that she often gives advice herself, but asks herself the question: why?
«I’m answering to what? To be a good friend? To emphasize expertise? Maybe I just don’t know how to say no and don’t value my experience. Your friend just clearly doesn’t have a problem with self-worth.»
Victoria Kutz, a brand manager, said she once gave advice «with one eye» and lost an hour:
«I did an audit, wrote comments, and in response, 'Thank you very much, I’ll give you something someday.' To this day, nothing. Never again for free.»
Who thinks differently?
Some users believe that giving advice to friends and loved ones is part of a relationship, not a favor.
«Friendship has no price. If he has a business relationship with you, then he is not a friend, but just an acquaintance. I always help friends and close relatives for free, if I can help and have time for it,» says Andriy Volkovskyi, an engineer in the field of machine learning and physics.
A similar opinion is shared by the Chief Product Officer at Aninix Inc, Maksym Piddubnyak, who simply wrote: «you don’t have a friend in Canada.»
In search of balance: individual approaches
There are also those who have found their own formula for balancing money, time, and a desire to help. Roman Povzyk, a product analyst at Burny Games, shared a structured approach to mentoring:
«If a person has a job and income, then the consultation is paid. If not, it is free, but with a recording for Youtube, so that the answers are useful to others. And if they are former colleagues or acquaintances, it is free and without a recording, because these are most often questions not about analytics.»
This approach allows you to simultaneously respect your own time, not ignore newcomers' requests, and create added value for the community. It demonstrates that there is not necessarily only one right answer to the question of «to pay or not to pay for expertise.»
So how can we do better?
Discussions about «paying for expertise» in the Ukrainian IT environment are not the first time. Experts often note that free advice is not always about generosity, but about emotional burnout, loss of resources and unclear personal boundaries. At the same time, mentoring and support for beginners remain valuable, but on the condition of mutual respect for time.
We previously wrote about how posts about IT burnout continue to spread on social media. We talked to IT professionals who have been through it, managers, and psychologists about all of this.
A 16-year-old IT beginner who plans to develop in programming asked experienced IT professionals for advice on education: what to choose — university or courses? Experienced experts gave advice
How IT professionals can save and accumulate money: 8 effective ways to increase wealth + tips for beginners in investing from Senior software engineers
Професії у геймдеві. Хто такий левел-дизайнер і як ним стати?
Ми продовжуємо нашу рубрику, присвячену професіям у геймдеві. Тема нового матеріалу в ній — левел-дизайн. Його вважають підвидом геймдизайну, але все-таки практично кожна студія хоче окрему людину на позицію левел-дизайнера. Адже у цій спеціальності вистачає своїх нюансів та особливостей.
Розібратися з ними всіма нам допоміг досвідчений левел-дизайнер зі студії Fractured Byte Дмитро Нестеренко. Також він веде свій блог Game Designer Notes про геймдизайн в цілому, в якому розбирає багато цікавих нюансів розробки ігор.
