"It's a good thing we didn't hire this person." How recruiters react to inappropriate behavior from IT professionals after rejection and the lessons they learn for themselves in such situations
Recently, on social media, HR development company Daria Karpin shared an observation about candidates who, after receiving a rejection, could switch from normal communication to passive-aggressive messages or just swearing.
Have other recruitment professionals encountered something similar? It turns out that such cases are not isolated. Here’s what recruiters told dev.ua and shared the lessons they learned from similar situations.
Recently, on social media, HR development company Daria Karpin shared an observation about candidates who, after receiving a rejection, could switch from normal communication to passive-aggressive messages or just swearing.
Have other recruitment professionals encountered something similar? It turns out that such cases are not isolated. Here’s what recruiters told dev.ua and shared the lessons they learned from similar situations.
From love to hate
In HR work, according to Alina Mykhaylovskaya, Human Resources Business Partner at web development company Southwave, sometimes situations arise that unexpectedly move from the plane of professional dialogue to something completely different.
Iryna Chesnokova, Senior HR People Partner at IT company MeGaDev OÜ, recalled how she encountered a candidate who, during an interview with her, started to smear her and similar companies. «And to my question: ‘Why did he come to us for an interview then?’ he replied: ‘He wanted to make sure he was right.’» Iryna shared that in the end, it is clear that the communication did not last long.
«I steadfastly withstood all his attacks, but the feeling he left behind was, to put it mildly, not very good,» the specialist adds.
However, fortunately or unfortunately, as Nataliya Klymenko, Co-Founder of the IT company Codica, says, such cases are not frequent. In her practice, there have been few such cases — and certainly not at Codica. But Nataliya has been in the industry for almost 20 years, holding various roles — from recruiter to HRD, and says that of course she has seen different things.
«I attribute this behavior of candidates mostly to poorly structured communication processes in recruitment,» the specialist suggests.
Natalia shared several stories:
The most notable case is that one rejected candidate set up a spam bot that sent insults to the company’s general email twice a day. Administrators blocked the spam for several days before they were able to finally stop the attacks.
There were also less trashy, but unpleasant situations. For example, a candidate would come to a recruiter on social media and write caustic comments after being rejected — as if to take revenge on the person who had announced the not-so-pleasant news.
Completed lessons
From each incident, even unpleasant ones, you can learn useful information that can then be successfully used in your work. This is how Alina Mykhaylovska approaches situations with candidates that are not always adequate.
Here are a few cases that, according to the specialist, were memorable for a long time and the lessons she learned from them:
1. After the rejection, I sent the candidate detailed feedback: why exactly we made a different choice. In response, I received a barrage of aggression: accusations of injustice, emotional statements about a «second chance,» and even not entirely correct wording, close to threats.
It was a lesson that even the most thoughtful explanation doesn’t always help—and that a candidate’s reaction to rejection says a lot about their maturity.
2. Another candidate, after being rejected, started writing everywhere: to corporate email, LinkedIn, team messengers, and the company’s social network. He kept asking for an «extra chance» and explaining why we rejected him, even though the decision was justified: insufficient experience and a poorly designed resume.
This incident made me think again about how important it is to build boundaries and immediately communicate the structure of the hiring process.
3. We were looking for a Junior SDR — a candidate with a strong resume interested us. During the conversation, the candidate completely seized the initiative: he started asking questions, dictating conditions, talking about salaries and roles that interested him, interrupting my attempts to return him to the issues that interested me. I barely had time to introduce the company. And after a reasoned refusal, calls came, «I misunderstood him,» calls to «watch the recording,» «we really interested him,» and «provide details about the next step.»
This case taught me that confidence is good, but only when it is combined with respect for the other person.
Instead of a conclusion
Of course, everyone is alarmed, says Natalia Klymenko, when, after a polite and correctly presented refusal, there is a sharp or even rude response.
«In cases like this, the team usually says, ‘It’s a good thing we didn’t hire that person,’» she recalls.
However, he adds that he always explains to his colleagues: the recruiter is just part of the process, he is not the person who makes the final decision. But he is the one who most often becomes the target of negative emotions. Unfortunately.
In addition, Natalia emphasizes that such situations are rare. «From all my experience, I can say with confidence that I have come across mostly adequate and professional candidates. It’s just that those who behave toxically always cause more noise and are the ones who make the headlines,» she assures.
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